Step Aside, Mohs

Just as the Mohs Scale measures the comparative hardness of various minerals, Pfizer has now come up with a scale to measure penile hardness in order to determine the extent of erectile dysfunction.

In descending order of hardness:

Reuters reported as follows:

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Gentlemen please, rate yourselves: are you a cucumber or a banana in bed?

Singapore's Society for Men's Health and a pharmaceutical firm [later identified as Pfizer] are proposing a four-point scale for erectile dysfunction, allowing men to rate their own hardness with four categories: cucumber, unpeeled banana, peeled banana and tofu (bean curd).

"Men should aim for this," UK sex therapist Victoria Lehmann told a news conference, holding a cucumber.

The scale does not involve any scientific measurement -- patients would merely be asked to assess their own levels of hardness -- and has not been accepted by any medical authorities.

Presumably, men suffering from erectile dysfunction being treated with Viagra can achieve this hardness - size not guaranteed!

P.S. [Sunday, 13th May 2007]: The more observant readers among you may have noticed that the picture of the peeled banana which I originally posted has now been replaced. Thanks and kisses to J for the image of the current peeled banana - much more appropriate for this post.