Denying Myself?

Today is the day of the London Pride parade. I'm not going as I have other plans. I might have gone if J went as well but he was busy this morning so I made alternative plans. In any case the parade meant lots of road closures so I wanted to get out of Central London for the day.

It was quite wet with intermittent rain which was quite heavy at times. Not really good weather for half-naked (or in some cases, almost naked) men to be parading themselves. That said, many gay boys were out in force today which meant there were many nice, fit boys to look at.

I spent the morning doing some shopping and hoping to avoid the parade-spectating throngs before the actual start of the parade after lunch. Managed to get round to Charles Tyrwhitt, Hackett, New & Lingwood and Favourbrooks. Found Vilebrequin and Laduree at Burlington Arcade and afterwards went round to the Abercrombie & Fitch store and that gets a blog entry of its own. Needless to say, there were lots of gay boys there. What with the buff, shirtless models at the store entrance, how could a gay boy like me resist the lure to go in? I wanted to but was too cowardly to ask any of the models out on a date. They are so out of my league and they might even be straight!

I was going to spend the afternoon with the T family who live in Twickers, being uncle to the 2 children and decided to buy some macarons from Laduree to take with me. CnT is a friend of mine from the Bar and has chambers on Essex Street. His wife, KT was formerly with Freshfields but has now gone to an in-house job at the FSA. They have 2 children, a 3 year old boy ST and a 9 month old girl ChT. Another friend of ours, P was going to meet us at Twickers and he was going to the Rod Stewart concert with KT who needed a break from the children as she is still on maternity leave which meant that CnT and I would be baby-sitting for the evening which I was happy to do. The children were no trouble at all and generally quite well-behaved although I had my concerns about the children being left to play, unwatched, especially the 9 month old. Perhaps I'm the sort to be an overly anxious parent.

CnT initially wanted to go round to a nearby pub where we were to meet P but it was raining by the time we got there. On our way to the pub, CnT and I must have looked like a gay couple out on an afternoon stroll with our children. I think we got some odd looks but CnT was quite oblivious to it all.

When I realised that CnT had arranged to meet P at his local, I was quite appalled that he even contemplated that , what with the children in tow, they really shouldn't be brought to a place where alcohol and cigarettes were being freely consumed but CnT is a good friend so I didn't say anything about my concerns. I gather this isn't the first time he's brought them there either.

I don't have any issues with children being exposed to moderate amounts of alcohol, as children living in Europe are. I think they will be less inclined to experiment and binge later in life but that's just a generalisation. I suspect that one of the reasons why I'm chocolate-obsessed is because they were restricted to me as a child and now, in an act of open rebellion, I eat as much chocolate as I want and as often as I want. I'd be the first confess in an a Chocoholics Anonymous meeting that I've an addiction.

During the course of the evening, CnT put the children to bed while I cooked us dinner. I wouldn't have been much help with bathing the children but cooking dinner was something I could definitely help out with. There were ingredients for a spinach and pesto-marinated lamb -dice lasagne (off a Waitrose recipe card) for us. CnT fed ChT with her milk and ST got cream cheese on toast. I was rather appalled by that. As a child, even though I might have been deprived of chocolates, I was actually fed quite well - hot meals at lunch and dinner about 99% of the time. I might not completely agree with CnT's way of parenting but I think it will all work out in the end.

After spending a day with the T family, I realised that I'm definitely ready for fatherhood. I will probably have said this elsewhere in this blog. I'm perfectly aware that being uncle for an afternoon is very different from being dad on a daily basis and I suspect that I will probably be an overly anxious and over-protective parent, in the same way my mother was (and still is, annoyingly) about me. That's rather worrying as I never want to turn into my mother! I think I'd rather kill myself first.

But ending on a somewhat brighter note, the Laduree macarons were very well received. They were completely scoffed by the time I left Twickers that evening.

The Lure Of Burlington Gardens

No one would necessarily associate shabby chic with Savile Row in London but now that Abercrombie & Fitch opened a flagshop store in Burlington Gardens, the crowd thronging the environs of Savile Row during the weekends is distinctly younger and I daresay, gayer.

Yes, 7 Burlington Gardens, where Abercrombie & Fitch is located, is London's latest gay clothing mecca. The store opened its doors sometime at the end of March this year. I missed the opening by less than a week during my last visit and was rather annoyed by that. This time around, I was determined to go round for a shufti.

My first visit was on Saturday which turned out to be a bad day as it was raining and also the day of the gay Pride parade. The shop is located barely 5 minutes walk off Picadilly Circus end of Regent Street which was part of the parade route.

As I approached the store from othe direction of Burlington Arcade as I had just come from Jermyn Street and had also bought some yummy but ridiculously overpriced macarons from Laduree. That's the last time I'm buying macarons from Laduree as they cost GBP6 per 100g (or 5 macarons) , not including the weight of the box which is also extortionately priced at GBP6 per 100g! The ones from Maison Paul are much better value at GBP7 for a dozen but I digress.

The thump of dance music emanating from the premises was audible as I approached the shop. The porch was crowded with people and initially I thought that perhaps the shop was crowded but it turned out that the people were standing around oggling 2 half-naked male models posing at the entrance. It was not exactly the warmest of days to be shirtless but they models certainly looked good without their shirts on - buff, handsome and wearing low-rise jeans from which the waistband of their pants were quite visible. My heart skipped several beats - if only more shops had models like that!

I've been to the A&F store in San Diego but there weren't any shirtless male models like in the London store. Perhaps they only have these in the flagship stores.

In any case, the models were something of a draw and most of the crowd were probably gay boys like me enjoying the sights. Every so often, the models would change and you'd get to see different cute, shirtless boys in their jeans. If you like that sort of thing, do head down to the A&F store each weekend and you're mostly guaranteed to see the shirtless models preening. Some of them looked rather uncomfortable - no doubt because they were made to feel like pieces of meat. I rather felt sorry for them who did feel uncomfortable about being shirtless gimmicks (for which I wouldn't mind giving them hugs and kisses to help them feel better, if that would helped) but for those models who really liked showing off them torsos, I definitely want to see more! I suppose that's the cornerstone of A&F's advertising philosophy and it obviously helps them to sell their clothes.

As I entered the store, I was very surprised. It a multi-level, dimly light place with high ceilings and strategically placed spotlights - it could well have been a gay dance club. The air was heavy with male pheromones but that wasn't really surprising at the crowd was predominantly male and if my gaydar was working correctly, gay as well. The other thing which struck me about the A&F store in London is how important the (gay) male customer base is. Most shops have don't have menswear on the ground floor but as soon as you walk into the A&F store, it's menswear. Womens wear is tucked away somewhere at the rear and also upstairs with the childrens wear.

I wandered around happily like a child in a candy store (not just because of the clothes but because of the sight of so many hot guys) which is rather an appropriate comparison as there was certainly lots of male eye candy about as most, if not all the sales assistants were all looked like model types.

Uncharacteristically of me, I didn't buy anything that Saturday as it was too crowded to try any clothes on. I decided to return to the store the next day but it was similarly crowded. However, the trip was worth it because there were more shirtless male models at the entrance of the store.

I'm nothing if not goal-oriented as seeing as I'd been unsuccessful in buying any A&F clothes on Saturday and Sunday, I returned on Monday to accomplish my mission. It was much better this time as it was definitely less crowded but unfortunately there were no shirtless models on display. I think they are only a weekend phenomenon.

I managed to find a pair of Rasmusens which I liked and decided to try them on. There were also on sale some Premium Rasmusens which were going for GBP198 a pair and much as I don't mind spending money on clothes, paying that sort of money for a pair of distressed jeans, however uniquely distressed they might be, is just silly.

As I was trying on the jeans, I'm sure the sales assistant at the changing rooms was checking me out or at least checking out my arse. He was South African, judging by his accent (or perhaps Namibian but I think the chances of meeting a Namibian in London are quite remote as compared to meeting a South African) and very cute. He seemed to like what he was seeing and I deliberately teased him by bending over to pick up something and he was definitely looking.

Sadly, I lacked the courage to ask him out or at least give him my phone number.

While at the store on Monday, I saw one of the erstwhile shirtless models but this time, he was fully clothed (albeit looking very sexy in his A&F kit) as a shop assistant. So it appears that the sales assistants double as shirtless models on the weekends - not a bad idea from A&F's point of view. No wonder the sales assistants all looked like model types. It was a pity that he wasn't shirtless today but I could definitely see his bulging biceps under his shirt. I was looking at one of the shirts which was out of my reach and he came over to help me. Turns out this hottie is Australian (could tell from his accent) as he climbed a step to get to the shirt I was wanting and I got a fantastic view of his arse. I'm not normally an arse boy but this one gave me a hardon. Unfortunately all that were available were the big sizes and the cute Australian boy was very apologetic and said that I might want to return during the next weekend when new stocks arrive. I probably will.

I think the A&F store is a place where I would like to work although I probably don't qualify as I am probably overqualified in some respects and not sufficiently qualified in others so I'll just have to stick with my job as an in-house lawyer for Shell. At least that gives me enough disposable income to buy whatever I want from A&F.

An Evening With J

I met J near Festival Hall this evening and had a drink at the BFI bar before taking a stroll to Soho for dinner. Had a thoroughly enjoyable evening with him. J was his usual charming and modest self and while we were together, I felt the same rush of happiness being with him this time as did when we first met. I hope he enjoyed being with me as much I as I enjoyed being with him.

Before we met, I'd promised to give him a rock from my collection (I gave him one with a bit of what might be garnet in it) and he surprised me by giving me this shell.

Afterwards, he came back to my place and we spent some time getting to know each other better. Unfortunately he couldn't stay the night as he had matters to attend to the next day but it would have been a dream come true for me to wake up next to him in the morning. Perhaps that dream might stilll yet come true. We've got plans to meet up again next weekend.

Crumpler - Dr Strong Tron

I bought myself a computer bag this weekend. It looks like this:

Nice isn't it? It's from Crumpler. It's the largest bag from the "Skivvy" range. The Crumpler website is rather nonsensical but it's a delightful collection of nonsense. This "Skivvy" was accompanied by the following description:

"Whack me on, baby, whack me off, pull me up, pull me off – Yeah, you got it right, you do it good, you know how to do the Skivvy shimmy...."

It all sounds very risque, not that I mind.

Perhaps I will get myself a Crumpler backpack after lunch with one of the visiting claims-handlers from the Shipowners P&I tomorrow. We've arranged to have lunch with one of their Members and I can steal away after lunch to get a backpack before returning to work.

My current Invicta one has seen better days and I've had it for more than.... Well too many years now. I was wanting to get a replacement when I was in Rome for a day last summer and when I got to the shop near the Scalinata di Spagna (or to give them their proper name, Scalinata della Trinita dei Monti - better known to the English-speaking world as the "Spanish Steps"), it was either closed for refurbishment or had relocated. I think this was the only one near a metro and I had a very limited time in Rome and didn't have the time to find another shop.

Postscript - Tuesday, 26th June 2007
I liked my Skivvy so much that I went out today after lunch with a friend from Bergesen Worldwide and got myself one of these:

It was a very good deal because it came from a different shop than the Skivvy (at which I got a 15% discount). At today's shop, the discount was less - only 10% but got this free to go with my IPod.

Can you guess what my favourite colour is now?

A Device By Any Other Name Is Still Vulnerable And Frustrated

I couldn't make up my mind about the title for this entry which is why it's so long.

The device in question goes by several names - Elf, P3450 and Touch but it's marketed here as the Touch.

I got myself one of those a few days ago. Despite what I said in an earlier blog entry, I simply couldn't wait for the iPhone which only becomes available in Asia in 2008 and also because my HP Ipaq rw6828 is ageing and soon won't have any trade-in value.

It looks like this (pictures courtesy of CNET):

In terms of appearance, features and functions, it's generally surpasses or at least equals the rw6828 but in terms of speed, it's frustratingly slower with a processor that operates at 210 mHz whereas the rw6828's processor runs at almost double the speed at 416 mHz.

So far, apart from the slowdown in the functions, it's got sufficient memory such that it doesn't hang when I'm using the TouchFlo interface (which was a concern for some industry pundits who reviewed the device prior to/at launch).

The other thing which I don't like about it is a lack of a protective case. It comes with an open-topped pouch which is practically useless for men. It's alright for women who have handbags (and for those men who have manbags - I'm not one of those). It could so easily fall out of the pouch.

Seeing as it was only launched in the first week of June, there aren't really many, if at all, accessories on sale for the Touch. I was told that it will take a few more weeks before the accessories become available which is very frustrating as the Touch will be vulnerable to damage until there's a protective case available for it. I've seen some video clips on Youtube featuring leather cases for the Touch and there's one in particular which I like (see the embedded video) and hopefully it will be on sale soon.

Is It Just My Imagination?

What's to be made of a picture like this? They look like such a lovely couple don't they? It's one of those pictures which make me weak at the knees but hard in my trousers.

For those of you who don't recognise them, the one on the left is Matt Derbyshire (Blackburn Rovers) and the one on the right is Leighton Baines (Wigan Athletic). This was probably taken during a lull in training prior to the U21 match between England and the Netherlands.

In case you're wondering what my dirty mind has got to featuring two boys under the age of the 21, first of all, the age of consent in the UK is 16 and in any case Matt is 21 (his birthday was on 14th April 1986) and Leighton is 22 (born 11th December 1984) so both are in every way legal for the things which I imagine them doing with each other and I don't mean playing football (although nude football may be a possibility!).

It is curious though, seeing as both are over 21, why they're eligible to play in an U21 match. Perhaps it's some quirky FIFA rule. In any case, I hope to see them in the England senior squad, as I do their U21 teammate, Steven Taylor whom I featured in a previous entry.

She's Keeping Me Busy

No, I've not taken to playing for the other team. I still like boys as much as ever.

The "she" in question is actually an "it" but it is industry convention to refer to "it" as "she". If you've not already cottoned on to what I'm rambling about, I'm referring to ships.

Unless you've been living on another planet or otherwise not paying attention to international news, you will no doubt have heard/seen/read about the recent storms in northern NSW resulting in the PASHA BULKER being grounded just off the cost of Newcastle.

Because of my fiduciary obligations, I'm not at liberty to say much about what's going on except that salvage continues to be a concern and that the reports of the grounding as published in Tradewinds and Lloyds List are about 90% accurate.

While this grounding is keeping my professionally busy, on a personal front, I am very concerned about the grape harvest in Hunter Valley. Two of my favourite Hunter Valley wineries, Tyrrell's and McGuigan's are located in Pokolbin/Cessnock and I hope the storms will not have affected production too much or that their owners will have had the foresight to buy business interruption insurance.

Outside of Alsace, I have not drunk better Gerwurztraminers than the ones from Hunter Valley. McGuigan's makes a particularly good one, perfect for drinking in the summer with very pronounced varietal characteristics of lychee and floral frangrances with just the right balance of acidity and residual sugar. It's truly summer in a wine glass.

It might not feel much like summer in Hunter Valley at the moment, seeing as it's winter in Oz but it's starting to feel summery in the northern hemisphere. I was told that it was quite rainy in London the last couple of weeks but the weather's expected to clear up and hopefully it will be sunny by the time I'm back at the end of this month.

Daniel Wu - For J

Here's Daniel in a recent Seiko advertisement looking pensive but nevertheless still very HOT. More about him here.

I Don't Get It

I can see why it's meant to be humourous as "suicide" rhymes with "right side" but I suppose I must be slow on the uptake for this one.

Another Handsome Specimen

I couldn't find any pictures of him hard but I'm sure he's a grower.

Nigella's Chewy Macaroons

I've been busy baking (among other things) this weekend. These are not what you'd usually think of as macaroons - not the chewy coconutty type or the French variety which is spelt "macaron". Nigella Lawson's version (which can be found in her book "Feast") is somewhere in-between which is crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside but doesn't have coconut in it.

Nigella's original recipe is as follows:

- 200g ground almonds
- 200g caster sugar
- 2 egg whites (from large eggs)
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom (optional)
- 2 tablesppons rose water (optional)

The method is simplicity itself. Preheat oven to 200 degrees Celsius. Mix all the ingredients together except for the rose water. If mixing by hand proves tedious, use an electric mixer.

Wet hands with rose water and form balls of the almond mixture approximately the size of a walnut. Place on a lined baking tray and press down slightly. Space well as the macaroons will rise. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. The finished product will look quite pale (unlike in the picture where they are nice and golden brown) but the outside will be crispy and the inside quite chewy.

The first time I made these, I had problems because being the smartarse that I am, decided to substitute the rose water with Amaretto and instead of wetting my hands with it, poured it into the almond mixture. This was a mistake. The dough became too wet and I had to add an extra 200g ground almonds to salvage the dough. Even then it was still quite wet, the texture being similar to seasoned minced meat and it was necessary to actually wet my fingers before the dough could be handled to any degree.

My modified recipe is as follows:

- 200g ground almonds
- 150g to 200g icing sugar (depending on how sweet you like your macaroons)
- 1/2 to 1 teaspoon mixed spice (use the Dutch blend if available, if not then any sweet mixed spice will do)
- 1 egg white from a large egg

Mix all the ingredients together and it should form a very easy to handle dough. Shape as above or if you wish, you can make smaller macaroons by forming balls of about the diameter of a 10p coin. Flatten slightly after placing on a lined baking tray. Alternatively, you can place the dough in some clingfilm and then roll it out into a cylindrical shape. Put the dought roll in the fridge to stiffen (about 1 to 2 hours in the fridge will suffice). Once stiffened, unwrap clingfilm and cut into transverse sections.

Depending on whether you want a more chewy macaroon, cut into half inch widths. If you want a more crunchy (but nevertheless with a bit of a chewy centre) cut into quarter inch widths. For more chewy macaroons, bake the thicker dough bits in an oven set at 200 degrees Celsius for 10 to 12 minutes. For more crispy macaroons, bake the smaller dough bits in an oven set at 180 degrees Celsius for 10 to 12 minutes by which time they will be nice and golden brown like the ones in the picture above. If you bake the smaller dough bits in a hotter oven, they will turn quite brown.

I spent most of Saturday experimenting with different types/quantities of sugar, methods and baking temperatures and finally managed to come up with a stable recipe which should be reproduceable next time I try to make the macaroons again.

Becks & Sons

I previously posted an entry featuring John Terry and his two children.

With the end of the Spanish Primera Liga season for 2007 and Real Madrid winning the league title for this year, it's likewise time the football players to show off their children to the media.

It's amazing how quickly time flies and Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz are all such big boys now. While I don't particularly share Posh & Becks' taste in children's names, you can certainly see that they adore their dad and even have the same haircut as he does.

I can't imagine Posh actually looking after the boys herself. To quote a line I heard off a sitcom - she looks like a stick with boobies and quite possibly plastic boobies as well. I am reliably informed by my girl friends (they are girls who are my friends, not girls whom I shag - sorry I don't do girls) that when women lose weight, they lose it all over and this means that their boobies become smaller as well. Posh is as thin as a person can be without being anorexic but she's still got a very full bosom which suggests to my girl friends that they're plastic. So, Becks is a tit man then?

The Difference Between Straight & Gay

How straight boys do it - chest to chest:



How gay boys do it - crotch to crotch:



So what exactly is the relationship between Mark Knowles and Daniel Nestor?

Practice Makes Perfect?

I wonder where she got that from. Shocking isn't it? Not only is she licking on one, but she's got another one in her hand. As they say, good girls go to heaven and naughty girls go everywhere. Looks like this girl will be going places.....

Nick "Bendy" Beyeler

Is there no position this man can't do?

More about Nick here.

Marc Gicquel's Tennis Injury

No, reports of tennis elbow wouldn't make it to my blog.

French tennis player Marc Gicquel was balled in the nuts during his match against Benjamin Becker during the Gerry Webber Open in Halle. The ball in question was travelling at a speed of 208 km/h when it made contact with the Gicquel family jewels. I can only imagine the pain......

However, he managed over come the pain and to continue the match after receiving treatment and won it 6-2, 7-6(5).

Perhaps Tim Henman should take a fast ball to his nuts and that might improve his game. He can't be playing any worse than he is now.

Purely as an afterthought, I can't imagine that the tournament doctors get to fondle players' nuts in open court in more or less full view of the public (save for the silly towel which doesn't really hide anything) very often. Truly the dream job of many a gay man!

Come Hither

He's not quite as close to perfection as Woody and the others who have previously appeared in my blog but as my friend PS says, you wouldn't kick him out of bed. He's probably the sort you'd want to keep in bed too. It looks like he's got the same thing in mind. Inviting isn't he?

This Is Too Easy

Sausage Delight? This one's just asking for a pun to be made.

I bet he can offer more than just sausage delights - all round boy on boy delights is more likely the case!

Woody - Another Near Perfect Specimen Of Manhood

More pictures of him can be found here.

Jail Bird - Literally

There was some drama over the weekend about Paris Hilton being "released" into home custody and then being produced in Court, followed by a reluctant return to prison. Apparently prison authorities allowed her to leave prison for home confinement on unspecified medical grounds - the full report from CNN can be found here.

That's as stupid a reason as any and the judge obviously thought so as well and ordered that she be sent back to prison, where she belongs.

Madame Tussauds' have obviously capitalised on this and have exhibited a waxed-likeness of Paris Hilton in prison stripes or should it be prison orange instead?

Which Ones Shall I Buy?

Choice is not necessarily a good thing. I've been wanting to buy one of these for some time now but didn't manage to find anything suitable in the shops except a pair made by Puma but they weren't in the right shade of blue. I did some looking on the internet and finally managed to narrow it down to these 4 choices. An internet review of the brands suggested that Fallen were the best, followed by Osiris and then Adio but all of these are reputable and I suspect that at the end of the day, it will simply be a matter of personal preference. At the moment, I'm inclined to go with the ones with the white shoelaces. I think the contrasting laces make the shoes nicer.

Another Strange Dream - Back To Basic(s)

I don't know whether it's true about what's said in relation to going to sleep after having big meals but I had a big meal last night and I had a strange dream, possibly a nightmare.

In my dream I was back at basic training but like my dream about being back in boarding school, I was my current age, rather than when I was 18. It seemed like a comparably less stressful experience than it was the first time around and we even had our own fridges in the barracks which was unheard of previously. During falling in time, we were even joking with the lady drill sergeant who had a good sense of humour.

At that point, the struggle between my subconscious and conscious minds began to surface as I began to realise that I had only about 10 days to go to my Run Out Date and being back in basic training was pointless, particularly since subsequently-discovered my skin sensitivities rifle oil precluded me from any combat activities, which would have included basic training.

The red mist was about to descend again I was about to get in touch with my solicitors to start judicial review proceedings against the Minstry of Defence (which would most certainly mean my appointment as a reserve Staff Judge Advocate would be revoked in a tit for tat move by the MOD in the typically petty way in which the Civil Service operates). I didn't care really but that never happened as my conscious mind won out and I woke up.

I don't know why I had this dream and whether it was anything to do with my having a large meal but even if that was the reason, why did I dream of me being back in basic training instead of the other more commonly recurring nightmares which I have involving my teeth falling out or being back in school and facing my A Level maths exam which I wasn't at all prepared for.

If anyone knows a good therapist who specialises in dreams, let me know. I think I need some help to understand my subconscious mind.

Football Round-Up

The word "football" is so ambiguous. To Americans, it refers to the gridiron variety. To the Australians, depending on which part of Australia you come from, it could refer to AFL or NRL or possibly both. To most British people, this refers to what the rest of the world often refers to as soccer but even in England, there are other types of football, such as rugby football but the word "football" is usually used in connection with Association Football.

To kick-off, as it were we need to go back in time to an entry which I posted last month headed "EPL Whispers". It turns out to have been rather clairvoyant as it seems that both Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher have exactly the same thoughts:

Speaking of Steven Gerrard, here's a nice one of him and Frank Lampard who has already featured in my blog, both of whom are in the doggy position. I feel my cock getting hard already.....

Wesley Cornett - Pro Sui Vir Fatur

Jewel In The Palace

My mum's taken to watching a Korean television drama recently. It's English title is "Jewel In The Palace" but the Korean translation is "Dae Jang-geum" or in Chinese, "Da Chang Jin" which is rather more appropriate as my mum's watching the version which has been dubbed in Mandarin.

More about the plot can be found here but the reason why the drama interests me is because of the very handsome male lead, played by Korean actor Ji Jin Hee who plays the part of an officer in the imperial guard, Min Jeong Ho who is the lead actress' love interest.

He looks very dishy in traditional Korean dress:

In more contemporary clothing:

As you can tell, I don't much care for the drama itself but it has entertainment value, not least of which is a very handsome leading man.

Mason Wyler - Another Almost Perfect Specimen Of Manhood

I originally intended to put a simple caption here - "Vir Ipsa Loquitur" but realised is bad grammar. Instead I think the better translation might be "pro sui vir fatur". As I said in a previous post, my Latin is very rusty and I stand corrected as to the most appropriate translation of "the man speaks for himself".

Jamie Oliver's Alliterative Brownies

This recipe appeared most recently in a little booklet which Jamie very kindly put together for Red Nose Day this year called "Jamie's Little Book Of Big Treats". It's published under the name "Bloomin' Brilliant Brownies" which why it's easier to refer to them as "Alliterative Brownies" but in so doing, they're no longer an alliteration.

You will be relieved to know that the object of this post is not to explore the curious irony of how how putting a label on something destroys it's original meaning but to post arguably one of the best chocolate brownie recipes I've eaten in my short-ish life and I've eaten many, believe me.

I first made them sometime towards the end of March and they turned out to be better than I hoped but I made them a second time with a change in the recipe and cooking time but they didn't turn out. This time around, I resorted to what I did the first time around and it worked.

I'm now sufficiently satisfied that result of this recipe is reproduceable without any disappointment. I've deviated from Jamie's original recipe so perhaps the renaming is justified although somewhat ironic.

As Jamie was kind enough to publish his recipe in aid of Red Nose Day, please do your bit whenever you use this recipe. You don't have necessarily have to make a donation but at least try to do something nice for someone, even if it means giving them what you baked from this recipe. I won't know whether you do or don't - it's a matter for your conscience.

Enough of my drivel, the recipe is as follows:

Ingredients
250g butter
250g dark chocolate (min 70% cocoa, if not higher)
100g dark chocolate, very roughly chopped (min 70% cocoa, if not higher)
360g caster sugar (use proportionately less if the cocoa content of the chocolate is less than 7o%)
80g cocoa
80g plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
4 large eggs
1 tablespoon amaretto (optional)
50g walnuts (optional; quantity flexible )
75g dried sour cherries (optional; quantity flexible)
1 teaspoon mixed spice for sweets (optional)

Method
Pre-heat oven to 180 Celsius. Double line a 25cm x 15cm cake tin with greaseproof paper.

In a bain-marie, melt 250g of the dark chocolate and butter together and once done, leave to cool. It need not be at room temperature for the next step. In a mixing bowl, thorougly mix caster sugar and eggs - best to use an electric mixer.

Sift cocoa, flour and baking powder together. Add some mixed spice if you like.

Once thoroughly mixed, drizzle the melted chocolate mixture into the egg and sugar mixture while the mixer is still going.

When all the chocolate has been added, stir in flour mixture until there are no more lumps. Add in the remaining 100g of roughly chopped dark chocolate, nuts and cherries and stir to distribute evenly in the batter.

Pour out into the lined baking tin and bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Do not use the skewer test as it will hopelessly fail. At the end of the baking time, a crust will have formed at the top of the cake but it will still be wobbly.

DO NOT PANIC. This is how it's meant to be. The reason being is that the chocolate pieces have all melted, making the cake wobbly.

Leave to cool in the tin. The cake will fall in the meantime. Again, do not panic, this is to be expected because of the liquid chocolate will shrink in volume once it solidifies. Once cooled, wrap the brownie, tin and all in a large plastic bag and place in the freezer overnight. The brownie can keep very many months in this state but I assure you that once you've tasted it, there won't be much left to keep around for many days, much less many months.

After having had the overnight cold treatment, remove the brownie from the freezer and lift the brownie out of the tin. If you've lined it properly, it will lift out quite easily. Strip away all the greaseproof paper and using a large, sharp knife, cut into as small or large pieces as you like. These can now be stored in the freezer or in the refrigerator. They taste delicious cold or warmed up briefly in the microwave. The reason for storing it overnight in the freezer is that it's much easier to cut after having had a night in the freezer. If you try it cut it after it's cooled down, it will be very gooey and messy.

Jamie suggests that the brownies be accompanied by creme fraiche and orange zest but if you can't be arsed, a quantity of ice-cream will do. If you really can't be arsed, just eat them out of the freezer. They are a good way to get your daily chocolate fix.

If you want to go OTT with this, you can make a ganache and spread it over the top of the brownie before cutting it up and then have it with chocolate ice-cream. Much as I like chocolate, I think that's going too far. It's nice enough without.

Yet Another (Mostly) Inexplicable Dream

I had an erotic dream last night.

Nothing peculiar about that, you must be thinking. This was strange, and perhaps disturbing but make up your own mind.

In my dream I was in a hotel room with 2 single beds. I happened to be sharing the room with my boss from London, M. This was a very unusual situation for the following reasons:

1. I never travel with him. If I do, it's usually with at least 1 other person but this time, it was just the two of us on the trip; and

2. Whenever we travel for work, we always go "single" whenever we travel and we'd only be sharing if there weren't enough rooms to go around; and

3. It couldn't have been that there weren't enough rooms at the hotel as the trips are planned sufficiently far ahead to avoid this sort of situation, at least the trips which involve M.

In my dream, I was just about waking up and in my half-asleep state, I noticed M, dressed only in his shirt standing in front of the television (which hadn't been switched on) wanking himself furiously while mumbling something. I couldn't really make out what he was mumbling but it sounded like "Alan Greenspan". Suddenly, he stopped wanking and then grabbed a copy of the FT and exclaimed loudly "Alan Greenspan" and then continued wanking.

This was disturbing as it seemed that M was getting aroused thinking of Alan Greenspan. But it was the morning and I'm always woken up by my erection so I put my disgust aside and got out of bed and went to stand in front of M.

At this point, I ought to mention that I usually sleep in the nude whenever I travel (unless its winter) and I stood in front of M, naked and having a hardon. He didn't seem to mind. I took hold of his cock and started wanking him. He seemed to like it and even adjusted my hand so that I gripped his cock in a way that he liked.

I looked at the cock in my hand - nice shape and length, nice set of balls too. After I wanked him for a while, I decided that I needed a taste of his cock and I got on my knees and started sucking him off. He seemed to like what I was doing and after a few minutes, he made me stand up and we kissed. We kissed for a while and this time round, it was his turn to suck me.

For a (happily) married man with 2 children, he was very good at sucking cock. All that was going through my mind when he was sucking me off was, apart from how good it felt, whether this encounter was going to be a one-off or whether we'd be doing this on a regular basis. The fact I might be having an affair with a married mind had not crossed my sex-crazed mind at the time.

He continued sucking me till I was close and continued sucking me while I came, swallowing as much of my cum as he could.

The dream ended there and I don't know what happened next. If anything. That was the point when I woke up and would no doubt have had a wet dream but for the fact that I wank regularly enough for this not to happen any more.

The dream's bothered me all day and I've been wondering why M featured in my dream, especially in an erotic one. It's not that he's unattractive. For a 40-something year old, he's got very cute, boyish looks and while he may be a bit tubby, to put it in the words of my friend, C, I wouldn't kick him out of bed.

I've had erotic thoughts about other boys at work but never about M. We don't work together on a daily basis and I've never thought about him in that sort of way. I don't know why my subconscious mind picked him over the so many other boys at work whom I've had sexual daydreams of. However, the dream was horny enough for me to need to wank myself in the toilet at work as I relived the dream in my head.

I'm guessing that the reason for the erotic dream is partly to do with the fact that I've not been out "hunting" lately. It's probably been more than a month, if not longer since the last time but that's not to say that I've not otherwise been satisfied. Perhaps it's my subconscious mind telling me that I should resume "hunting" activities this week. Not such a bad idea seeing as it's nude night this Friday at Club One Seven.......