Another Strange Dream

I've not had the all my teeth falling out nightmare for a while but my latest dream, or perhaps nightmare, depending on your perspective, suggests that I have some sub-conscious anxieties which I am repressing.

In my dream, I was supposed to be 1 of 2 organists at some imperial coronation being held at the completed Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. Immediately, this dream is improbably in the present because:

1. The Sagrada Familia is still under construction, and will be for quite a while yet
2. There is no imperial family in Spain and it is unlikely that there ever will be
3. Why would I have been asked to be an organist at this coronation seeing as I am now "retired"?

Yes, I came out of retirement for my cousin's wedding a few years ago but have since returned to a blissful retirement - what I used to do as an organist almost seems like another life now, particularly as it is something which reminds me of my ex and those are memories which I'm in no rush to relive.

In the dream, we were at rehearsals prior to the coronation and I was directing the choir while the other organist was accompanying. Rehearsals then stopped for a while for the other organist and I to have some sort of discussion about the music and then I went up to the organ loft to rehearse my composition which was to be premiered at the coronation. I was not planning to direct this and was going to perform my own compostion and let the other organist direct the choir and orchestra.

I remember going up to the organ loft, first passing the secondary console in the nave which seemed to be extraordinarily huge. The loft was directly above the high altar and it was a very scary ascent. The stairs were very narrow and steep and from the height of the loft, I felt a bit queasy looking down into the nave.

Strangely enough, the loft seemed quite cramped and apart from the main console there was a little "booth" where we could watch the rest of the proceedings. At that point, I started to panic. This was a very late arrangement and I had been asked to step in for some other organist (yes, it happened many times in the past - really) and at this point in the dream, apart from having to perform my own composition, I was completely unprepared - I had no cassock or surplice and certainly no hood and what if I needed to be in the procession? I suddenly felt wave upon wave of panic assault my senses and that was when I woke up in a cold sweat.

This dream is obviously a reflection on how I hate losing control over the events in my life but why this particular setting? It is not a recent memory of something - in fact it is something completely implausible.

Is my mind trying to tell me something? I wonder........