England (44) v Samoa (22)

I don't think I'll be needing a manicure any time soon, not that I've ever had a manicure.

I was very concerned about the outcome of the match given what a good showing Samoa had put up against South Africa and the result was by no means certain that England would win.

England started off very well and I thought things had finally turned the corner for England. It looked as if they had learnt from their dismal showing against South Africa but this was somewhat shortlived as they allowed the Samoans to play catch-up for a but fortunately never allowed Samoa to take the lead.

England eventually woke up and managed a creditable win, even though the Samoan side didn't look like the side which gave the Springboks such a hard run in their opening match of the tournament.

This was a must-win match for England and their next and final pool match against Tonga is another must-win. Tonga are the dark-horse in this pool and given their performance against the Springboks this weekend, there is a possibility that they might edge England out of the quarter-finals.

England play Tonga next Friday and it should be another nailbiter of a match.

I'm watching Australia v. Fiji as I type this and the the Wallabies are on a try-scoring rampage. Even if England manage a win against Tonga, they will face Australia in the quarter-finals and barring some miracle happening - like the Wallabies being struck down by some illness, England will have to pack their bags after that match, if they don't manage to win against Tonga first.

A Very Strange Dream

I had a quasi erotic dream last night - quasi erotic because it was of a sexual nature but it was a sort of soft-porn dream, nothing hardcore.

If it was a film, I'd say it was a eclectic but nevertheless clever montage of several things which I experienced this week which included:

1. A visit to the Fatface shop Covent Garden
2. The film "Hero"
3. Abercrombie & Fitch
4. An Atlantis holiday

How do all these things figure in my dream?

Well, the dream started with me and a group of gay boys (the Atlantis connection) disembarking from a turbo-prop aircraft in what appeared to be an airstrip in rural Alaska but it turned out that our destination was actually Jiuzhaigou in Sichuan province in China. I've not actually been there but I recognised it from the locations for the film, Hero.

Our group was led by an Australian boy which was odd, not only because we were in China but also because he looked exactly like the cute English store manager at Fatface. I'd chatted with the store manager a few days previously but was too gutless to give him my number or to ask him out and it must have preying been in my subconscious mind.

After a half day of sightseeing in Jiuzhaigou, we stopped at the top of a cliff for lunch and I took the opportunity to sit with the cute Australian boy. We sat there for a bit, not saying anything, taking in the view. From where we were sitting, we could see the rock face of the mountain opposite us and we could see a moose scrabbling along a narrow path up the mountain (this must have been the Abercrombie connection). We then got to talking and he seemed to be unhappy. He was telling me a sad story about his uncle and then he started crying. I moved closer put my arm around him to comfort him and he started referring to his uncle as his husband. I remember feeling very sorry for him and when he stopped crying, he looked at me like a sad puppy needing love and I simply couldn't resist. I held him close to me and we kissed passionately.

Unfortunately the dream ended there. I was very disappointed that the dream didn't continue and I don't know why I have these dreams. They're quite bizarre and have no correlation with reality whatsoever but the mind is a strange thing, especially the subconscious mind.

What's "Wrong" With This Picture?

Here's another gem from MySpace.

I saw it in someone's album but it initially didn't register but when it did, it really put a smile on my face - it would make Hitler turn in his grave!!!

How To Kill A Fly

Ideas courtesy of Majeed - check him out on MySpace!

P.S. I don't get the Flitler one :(

What ESPN Really Stands For

As seen on The Onion:

I leave you to decide for yourself whether you agree with the sentiments expressed in the picture. :)

A Divergence Of Opinion

As some of you will know, I have a page on Facebook and one of the applications on that page is something called "Hunk of the Day" or such like. "Adam" who is featured on the left is the hunk du jour.

Judging from the comments left about him, these fall into 3 categories:

1. Comments from the gay boys - all of whom seem to think he's really hot;
2. Comments from girls - those who think he's hot; and
3. Comments from other girls - those who don't think he's hot

There doesn't seem to be any simple explanation as to why there seems to be a divergence of opinion other than beauty lies in the eye of the beholder but the homos (me included, so don't whinge about the word being derogatory) seem to have a homogenous view as to his attractiveness (who cares if he's got a squeaky voice?).

Amongst the ladies, there seems to be two opposing views - some would like to jump him immediately (as would us gay boys - we saw him first ladies - hands off - you know that if we fight you for him, we'll definitely win!) - and some who don't care for him at all.

Up until today, I had mostly thought that women and gay boys tended to have similar tastes in men but that myth has well and truly been shattered today.

So what is it that women look for in a man or more specifically, what do women find attractive in a man? I suspect that generations of straight guys have been trying to figure that one out, but with no success.

Perhaps us gay guys have gotten smart and realised that since we're not going to be able figure women out, we might as well not bother. Between men and men, it's much simpler, particularly between gay men. Physically and sexually, it's a lot more straightforward as well - between gay men, you never have to wonder whether your lover really had an orgasm or whether he was just faking it, like some (many?) girls do. Also, since when do you read in magazines about men feeling frigid and not wanting sex?

How men and women ever got together to breed is sometimes beyond comprehension - it's truly a Venus and Mars thing. Fortunately for our species, however, men and women often enough manage to overcome their differences or else homo sapiens would be extinct soon, if not already!

As for me, I don't really care what the ladies think. He's definitely what I'd look for in a man - purely from a physical perspective - that gets him 35% out of 100% on my scorecard. As for the remaining 65% of what he could potentially score, that will depend on his non-physical attributes. There's not much point having a pretty boy as your partner but apart from that you might have absolutely nothing in common and it won't be long before pretty boy finds himself another prettier boy than you. We're much better of with ordinary looking boys (not necessarily plain - you'll find me quite accepting in this regard) but whose non-physical attributes make him more compatible with you.

Of course, if you manage to find yourself a pretty boy whose brainy and amusing and is in every other way compatabile with you, do your best to hang on to him - he's definitely a keeper. There's not many of those around.

A Football Supporter's Priorities

Is he joking or is he serious? I can imagine that his wife is probably none too happy about taking priority behind the Club but perhaps not the children. At least she's still in his top 3. Just imagine, if he had the family pet in the top 3 instead of his wife. I don't think he'd be getting any for a long, long while......

A Man In Denial

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything-I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Irony

This is a remarkable photograph in so many ways and not because Jonny Wilkinson is in it.

Those of you who read this and who know me well enough will understand why Jonny Wilkinson features in this post and I promise he will be featured in full pictorial post of his own one day.

The reason why I picked this photograph is because it's so pregnant with meaning.

This was shot when the England rugby team arrived in France for their World Cup campaign. I wouldn't call it a defence of their Championship because all but the most one-eyed of English supporters will admit that we don't have a chance of winning it this year, not least of which was the rather lacklustre performance against the USA yesterday although Olly Barkley (he yummy too) put in a very creditable performance.

For that reason, I'd be inclined to be quite cynical about "Hope & Glory" and given Jonny Wilkinson's ankle injury, I rather doubt that he'll live up to be England's "Hope & Glory" for this World Cup.

I still fancy Jonny but it's not going to be the same as the last final Rugby World Cup final where he kicked the winning goal against Oz. Poor Jonny.

A Good Weekend For England Supporters

It's not offten that England supporters can celebrate three wins at any one time. Must have been some fortunate alignment of circumstances but who cares?


Rugby World Cup: England (28) v USA (10)

7th ODI: England v India
England: 188-3 ( 36.2 overs )
India: 187 ( 47.3 overs )
England beat India by 7 wickets


Euro 2008 qualifier: England (3) v Israel (0)

Memories & Desires

I went "shopping" for watches today. It was strictly of the "window" variety.

I spent my morning at a watch exhibition which featured the likes of but not limited to Breguet, Bulgari, Tag Heuer, Richard Mille, Breitling and was sorely tempted. There was not a Timex in sight! :)

I finally saw in real life the Tag Heuer Carerra concept chronograph:

It will never be a production model as Tag Heuer, for some inexplicable reason completely ignored feedback from the watch-buying public and came up with a crappy looking version as the production model. That much was admitted by Tag Heuer's rep at the exhibition. Sometimes, the Swiss just aren't very smart.

Apart from that I also went to see what sort of tourbillon watches would be on show. I've mentioned elsewhere on this blog my facination with tourbillon watches and I saw quite a few today.

I was very taken by these 3 Breguet tourbillons, especially the twin tourbillon:

Unfortunately there were all completely out of my price-range. Let's just say that they all cost more than my Lexus and my credit card limit does not extend to the 6-figure range. In some places in the UK, you can buy a little house for the cost of one these watches.

I've since set my sights on something a bit more realistic and it's going to be one of the two below:

I'm thinking of using forthcoming my Christmas money to finance the purchase. At the moment, it's more likely to be the one on the left, which is a Breguet from the Marine collection as the Grand Carerra (the one on the fight) seems not to be available at the moment. Will speak to my usual watch dealer to find out. The Breguet is more within my price-range, high 4-figure to low 5-figure and the Grand Carerra, like most Tag Heuers are well within the 4-figure range. I can buy both using my credit card and I have a revolving credit facility on my card which lets me pay for purchases such as these over a period of 3 years, interest-free so buying it won't be a problem. The only downside to using the revolving credit facility is that it "uses up" my credit limit on my account.

While at the exhibition, I met several old school friends, like me probably wearing their most presentable watch. I had on my titanium Breitling but another of my friends was wearing a Breguet.

Quite apart from the fact that I fancied a couple of them (and still do, after seeing them), it made me feel like I was back in school again.

Perhaps I should explain. I went to an all-boys school all my life until I went to university. It was a very accepting sort of school in the social sense and in some respects the academic sense. There was room for boys who, may not have done well in the run up to the GCSEs and As but were nevertheless allowed to stay because of their sporting achievements. This sometimes created a rather fractured social dynamic but by and large, boys being boys, tend to be less bitchy than girls and most of us have known each other since we were 7 so it wasn't much of any issue.

The other aspect to the school social dynamic was means. This varied quite a lot. There were many (I'd say at about 50%) who were very well-off: old money, titled, (multiple) stately home owning, Aston Martin driving (yes, daddy bought it for them for passing their driving test) sorts. Of the other 50%, 35% were from families whose parents were professionals and as such, moderately well-off (I was in this category) and the remaining 15% or so were not as well-off as the rest. It was the sort of school where being at either extreme of any spectrum was not necessarily helpful to fitting in and when I met some of my friends at the watch exhibition, it was a sort of instantantaneous, unspoken assessment of the social pecking order again.

Thankfully, I didn't come out too badly. I had always been somewhere in the middle in terms of means and sporting ability but definitely at the top in terms of academic ability and so had a degree of respectability in school. In the context of where we met, among the watches worn by my friends, my Breitling was behind the Breguets but at least ahead of the Omegas and Tag Heuers and I was rather relieved. One of the Breguet boys is the heir to the Copthorne/Millennium hotel group empire.

As I mentioned previously, I fancied a couple of them while we were still in school and one of them doesn't appear to be married and the other one is but was not wearing his ring like he usually is. He said that he get's Saturday off for "me time" and was meeting someone female friend for lunch later. All very suss. Maybe he's having an affair! I don't know for sure, it's just speculation on my part. He had a repuation for being a wolf in sheep's clothing out on the prowl for unsuspecting girls but those of us who know him know that he's actually a sheep' in wolf's clothing.

Kentucky Love Poem

Here's another little gem from MySpace:

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE;
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL,
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, "THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.

YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER,
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY.
MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE.
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

It Starts Today

Yes, the Rugby World Cup kicks off later this evening with the opening match between France and Argentina. There is a chance that the Pumas may maul the roosters but I suspect that the end result will be that the Pumas are likely to be pecked into submission.

I'm a realist. England will not get any further than the semi-finals and much as I would like to see them win it again, it will not happen.

Of the Home Nations, I think Ireland is in with the best chance of making it to the final but that remains to be seen.

The All Blacks are of course the tournament favourites and it remains to be seen whether they live up to their promise.

A Hard Man Is Good To Find

I'll leave you to decide whether I'm referring to the cute Turkish boy or the guy showing off his glutes of steel.

The Wonders Of Digital Photography

This is an improbably picture in so many ways and it's not just the cymbals.

Bears and penguins?

Wrong pole, I think.

Boris or Brian?

I'm not choosing boyfriends and it's only a coincidence that their names begin with "B".

The two boys (in the very loosest sense of the word) I'm referring to are Boris Johnson and Brian Paddick.

For readers who live outside the UK (make that outside London, they might have a limited regional audience), one is a politician and one is a (retired) policeman. For the record, Brian is only 49 and took early retirement.

If you're wondering what they look like:

Boris Johnson is a member of the Conservative Party which is not very conservative in some respects. As far as I know he's not gay but then again, who can tell, particularly after the Larry Craig scandal across the Atlantic.

Commander Paddick, as he was then known to the residents of Brixton (I think he has since been raised in rank to Deputy Assistant Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police) is not.

These two are quite different. One is a rather amusing, if not well-meaning buffoon who, poses a chicken and egg conundrum in relation to Harry Enfield's "Tim Nice But Dim".

The other is a dashing man of action, albeit somewhat greying but that's part of his charm. He also happens to be gay.

Sometimes when I'm asked which sort of older men I fancy, I'm not always able to give a description in a particularly succint way but from now on, Brian Paddick will be my benchmark.

So why do I need to decide between Boris & Brian?

They both plan to challenge Ken Livingstone for his mayoral seat at elections to be held next year.

For more details see here for Boris and here for Brian.

Between the three of them, guess who'll get my vote?

What Do These Have In Common?

Let me start this post with a caveat.

I'm pissed.

I just got back from a rather boozy lunch and sent some drunken emails to a few friends in which I might have said some inappropriate things and for which I will probably have to apologise for tomorrow but that can wait.

We had some overseas visitors today and to celebrate their visit, we went out and had a nice lunch, accompanied by 4 bottles of wine between the 6 of us. Needless to say, not much work will be done this afternoon although I have a conference call with some fellow piss-artistes from one of the Magic Circle firms and Durban. Should be able to manage that without letting on.

In the meantime, I need to sober up. A lemon would be handy.

I find that sucking on a lemon helps clear the mind of alcohol-induced fuzziness very quickly.

Here's some lemons:

Don't they look nice and juicy?

Lemons are all very well and apart from their usefulness in dispelling hangovers and in cooking, are not exactly the most interesting things to suck on.

Cocks on the other hand are much more fun to suck on. When I say "cock", I mean "penis" and the human variety, I might add. I'm not into bestiality, if you must know.

Here's a nice picture of a cock which looks eminently suckable,

It's also nice, juicy and hard.

My favourite variety!

If only I could get a cock could squirt lemon juice instead of cum, I'd be able to suck on my favourite thing and get over a hangover at the same time.

Hands off that patent. It's mine!!!

And yes, you thought I'd forgotten the answer to the question I posed earlier didn't you?

So what do lemons and and an erect penis have in common?

It's a drunk and horny gay boy that's what!

Simple, isn't it?