Frank & Franc(esc)

The pictures above were part of an ugly but somewhat homoerotic scene from last Sunday's Carling Cup final between Chelsea and Arsenal which Chelsea won 2-1. Let me confess that my only interest in football lies with the cute men/boys who play the gayme and no prizes of what I think of Mr Frank "Testicles" Lampard and Mr (isn't he too young?) Francesc Fabregas.

If you pronounce "Lampard" in a slightly posh, French way, it sounds very much like the phrase meaning "testicles" in a certain southern Chinese (Fujian) dialect. It seems rather appropriate though seeing as he is no doubt regarded by many gay men (and straight women) as sex on legs. There's no doubt about it, Lampard is one sexy fucker.

Regrettably, the pictures were taken from a football match and not a porn film. You know how those porn films start (think Bel Ami) - two boys engaging in some horseplay - wrestling, play-fighting and soon the clothes come off and horseplay turns into sex-play. It's so easy to imagine Frank and Franc doing just that. The only thing which left me wondering was who'd top and who'd bottom. I have a feeling that Testicles is probably more suited to the role as a top and he'd give Cesc a good seeing to, leaving the young Spaniard wanting more of Frank's cock.

Seeing as this is my fantasy, I'd have them do a flip-flop and Franc now gets his chance to give Frank a good rogering. Testicles takes Franc's man-chorizo without so much as a whimper - he obviously takes it up the bum regularly - must all be thanks to his teammates, Joe Cole, John Terry and Wayne Bridge.

I think I need a cold shower now. The thought of all these hot football players in an orgy together is quite overwhelming.