Size Doesn't Matter

Yes, I've done it again! Here's another non sequitur for you.

Who would have thought that such a little thing could make such a big noise?

In The Eye Of The Beholder

Dog's arse or a religious icon?

You decide.

Why I Like Gay Sex

Sex between men is so much less complicated.....

Lockerroom Fantasy

It's strangely very appealing.

More about The Gay Pimp, Jonny McGovern here and at the official site here. You can also download the video and others from there.

Don't Learn From This

Very amusing but obviously not to be taken seriously.

A Very Rude Surprise

My Shampoo Doesn't Do This

Time to change my shampoo, I think....

Dr Smith & Dr Jones

A psychiatrist and a proctologist opened an office in a small town and  put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors".

The town council was not happy with the   sign, so the doctors  changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids".

The town did not like that sign, either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics" but no go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" Thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds",  Still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".  Unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts"  Not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts?" No way.

"Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go.

"Loons and Moons?" Forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Odds and Ends"

Everyone loved it. 

Dear Penis

Some time ago, I posted an entry about the Syncsta Boys.

I recently discovered another pair of jokers who do something similar and this time they were lip-synching to a song called "Dear Penis". It rather accurately describes the relationship between every boy and his "best friend".

A friend of mine from Facebook sent me the YouTube link. I first met him on MySpace and he's a great guy. Don't get any funny ideas though - Marcy is taken. He's very much in love with Liam, as far as I can tell.

Enough waffling, here it is:

Postcript: As of 5th December 2007, Marc and Liam have split up - Marc told me as much when I met him last week. I think Marc is already in love with someone else but I'm not allowed to say who for now.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

If you haven't spotted it yet, show this picture to your friendly neighbourhood Imam and you'll get an answer straightaway. :)

I Don't Know The Word For This

Zoophilia and necrophilia I know but what's the equivalent word in relation to midgets?

Not quite a trompe l'oeil

But some visual trickery nevertheless. Have you noticed how the chair is redundant?

Somehow I feel more sorry for the doggy.

Don't you?

Monkey Business

This picture or a variation of it will no doubt be familiar to most of you. This is taken from the Toshogu Shrine in Nikko, Japan. Sometimes there is a featured a fourth monkey with his paws over his crotch symbolising "do no evil".

For the purpose of this post, the two monkeys featured in the tattoo below have obviously nothing to do with their 3 (or perhaps 4?) wise cousins at the Toshogu Shrine.

For an interesting explanation as to the origin of the meanings behind the 3 Wise Monkeys, have a look at this link from Wikipedia.

Christmas Wishes

Apart from the booze and fags, that's basically what I want Santa to bring me in a few weeks - attached to the guy of my dreams, preferably. :)

This little gem is courtesy of Roland. If you're on MySpace, add him - he's a great guy.

Be Honest

Is there any guy out there with access to the internet who hasn't done this?

I don't care if you're straight or gay - be honest with yourself. :)

Timmy Has A Drinking Problem

There's so much you can take away from this isn't there?

A Deterrent To Unlawful Parking?

For My Next Birthday

I'm generally quite averse to birthday celebrations - after age 25, birthdays are just depressing. However, if I had a cake like the one below, I might just be able to get into the mood.......

Dear Alcohol

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.

However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise onsequences, briefed below for your review.

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call my ex-boyfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? Furthermore. . . this is not a good time to figure out exactly who these mystery names are in my contact list.

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a bowl of cereal with a scoop of ice cream, along with the left over Pakistani/Indian and Chinese and those stale ass chips that I dont even know who bought and wash it all down with a protein shake? I know Im an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day is beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 5 minutes to give a cabbie my address or get the key into the lock on my door.

4. Pictures: This can be a blessing in disguise, as it can often clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are banned from ever being placed on my head in public again: Mullet wigs, sombreros, bows, wrapping of any kind for that matter, ties, boxes, upside-down cups, inflatable balloon animals, traffic cones, or underwear. Also, what is with you making me take pictures with people I clearly don't like when I'm sober? Yet they suddenly become my best friends when a camera is presented?

5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know him from somewhere, I most likely do not. Please do not request that I go over and see if in fact, I do actually know that person.

Also, the phrase "Let's Fuck" is banned from now on.

6. While I may be thinking this, please reinstate the brain-to-mouth-block that would stop this thought from becoming a statement, especially in public. Please stop me from talking to the guy with the crooked teeth, bad breath, squeeky voice, etc. Why are they appealing to me while I'm with you and why are they so disgusting to me the next morning after you have worn off??

7. Furthermore: These bizarre hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little punishment for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the surprise 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with that nasty bag of chips, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day for that matter) activities. Its just not fair to let me wake up feeling like a million bucks and give me the sneak attack later that day.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful relationship.

Yours truly,

[Insert Your Name Here]

This cri de coeur is courtesy of Jason from MySpace.

A Gem From Lloyds

Actually, this was contributed by Locktons, a Lloyds broker who was previously known as Alexander Forbes.

Click the graphic to read the story.